Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
