these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
