mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Randomize
