ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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