My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Boobs are out for the taking
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
