Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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