doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
