just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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