We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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