How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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