I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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