i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize