And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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