Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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