just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
