Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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