Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
sex in a hospital.. check
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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