I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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