i don't like sucking hair
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize