no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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