i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
