I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
