UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
