If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
