I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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