how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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