"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
