so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
She bit a glass in half.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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