big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
COCAINE IS GR8
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
