I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
