Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
