I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
