Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I touched a dick in church today
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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