Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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