Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
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driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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