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That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
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