Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour

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(503): That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour http://tfl.nu/3dpl

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Chicken burrito, or no deal.

(1-402): View more from Nebraska

Is that code for my vagina?

(402): View more from Nebraska

Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

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(402): Chicken burrito, or no deal. (1-402): Is that code for my vagina? (402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito http://tfl.nu/ldfv

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(760): View more from California

Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that

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(760): Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that http://tfl.nu/izum

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(305): View more from Florida

Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news

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(305): Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news http://tfl.nu/t3j8

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.

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(781): I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing. http://tfl.nu/7fgj

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(509): View more from Washington

She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after

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(509): She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after http://tfl.nu/tns7

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park

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(902): I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park http://tfl.nu/d8es

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(270): View more from Kentucky

my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday

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(270): my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday http://tfl.nu/iucl

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.

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(215): A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts. http://tfl.nu/gdkg

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(773): View more from Illinois

I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs

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(773): I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs http://tfl.nu/g3cl

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup

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(203): You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup http://tfl.nu/qk1q

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(850): View more from Florida

So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.

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(850): So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them. http://tfl.nu/vjo6

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(916): View more from California

The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.

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(916): The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino. http://tfl.nu/qmu0

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(209): View more from California

Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!

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(209): Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology! http://tfl.nu/c0oh

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party

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(732): Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party http://tfl.nu/r6wq

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