It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
