Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
