did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize