belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I want to fling myself into the sun
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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