he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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