my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
