The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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