I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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