If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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