She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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