I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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