my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
