you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
