Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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