I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
