I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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