I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
