I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
