it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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