rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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