normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it because I queefed?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
