My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
