Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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