census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
lets start a swedish sibling band together
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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